9 Ways to Tell You Are Trauma Bonded to an Abuser

The signs can be subtle, but more obvious when you finally break it.

Chris Freyler

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Photo by Jose Fontano on Unsplash
  • You are still doing nice things for them. You are doing your best to help the person who delivered the most horrific manipulation.
  • You’re still hanging onto hope. You believe there might be a chance with someone who lied, cheated and manipulated you for years. You think they might change still.
  • You continue to trust people who are untrustworthy.
  • You repeatedly try and show the abuser your love they fail to see. You constantly seek validation from the person who delivered the abuse.
  • You are still pulled in by the love bombing. The move bombing is the glue to the trauma bond. More dangerous than the discard. If you’re still falling for the love bombing you are trauma bonded. Once it breaks you will see the shallowness of everything.
  • You still defend and justify the abuser. You will rationalize, and possibly minimize what they do as you look insane explaining their abuse to others.
  • You can’t seem to find a way out. You are stuck if they reach out, you respond. You can’t logically see anyway other other than settling and taking the abuse and hope for the best.
  • You do nothing but ruminate about everything that went wrong. You overthink every argument and conversation you’ve had. Questioning if you’re the abuser.
  • You are sitting around waiting for them to reach out. If you are no contact you won’t know if they reach out because you are determined to move on. You are hyper focused on breaking a destructive bond to someone who doesn’t care about you.

If you are still struggling with trauma bond you need to start talking about your truth. Once you research it enough and know you are trauma bonded start speaking the truth.

You have to hear it out loud. You have to undo every manipulative thought the Narcissist has put in your mind. Undoing the mess is a daunting task, but can be done.

Good luck!

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Chris Freyler

Mistake Maker Extraordinaire .Writing from a place I don’t understand at times. I write to help myself, in return hope it helps you. Just another Quora guy.