A Time In My Life I Felt Completely Broken.
Growth is painful, and sometimes it takes being torn down, to rebuild into a better version of you.
Just recently. When I finally realized no matter how I explain my feelings, my pain, the betrayal, the manipulation it falls on deaf ears. And then turned on me as being insecure, clingy, controlling, jealous, narcissistic, abusive, and playing a victim.
No matter how much I love, and try to express my needs, they will never be met by someone else, especially her.
When I’ve put 3 years into a relationship of nothing but lies and deceit. I try to understand her pain. But in doing so, I lose an already lost self in more confusion.
The moment I felt most broken was when I tried repeatedly to express how their actions hurt me. And I tried my hardest to love her how I’d like to be loved.
How I felt like a convenience.
How I never felt like a priority.
How I was chosen last many times.
How I would/did drop anything for her, and she would never do the same. I was punished for having feelings or because I wanted to spend time with her.
Trying to understand the betrayal of someone that I would give the world to is the moment I felt completely broken.
I’m not a narcissist.
I’m not abusive.
I’m not self-centered
I don’t have ZERO emotional intelligence.
I’m a guy, that is working on himself, and accepts I have flaws, and I’m looking for the same in a partner.
I didn’t deserve it.
I’m finally realizing this.
