Are You Chasing Someone Who Doesn’t Give a Shit?

There is more to life than this sick obsession

Photo by Jacek Dylag on Unsplash

Hey, maybe you stumbled upon this article because you are dealing with an abusive partner? You are wondering, why can’t they treat me better?

Why don’t they realize what I have to offer and what I’d do for them?

Why do I keep chasing the very person that treats me like absolute shit?

I’ve been there. Actually, I’m still “there.” It is a god-awful feeling trying to convince someone of your self-worth and not accepting it yourself.

Every day is exhausting when I am with her, wondering who she is talking with, always lies and more lies. I want to believe her, but I can’t. Her words are calming to my ears, but her actions are devastating to my heart.

Nothing she has ever told me was the truth.

I get so angry and want revenge, but why? I am doing it to myself. She has shown me time and time and time again precisely who she is! I never fucking listen to her, and I believe the Narcissistic words and not the actions.

She lives a life I want no part of, but I chase it endlessly with broken legs. It’s painful as hell.

I always believe “this time” she will tell the truth. But truth and honesty don’t exist in her vocabulary. I mean, it might, but it doesn’t have the exact definition most believe it to mean.

So, here I sit, again. Chasing, yearning, wishing she would just reach out. For what? For more abuse? Abuse is what I crave, and she is the doctor. She will write me several prescriptions to keep me hooked, and she doesn’t care.

Chasing and loving someone with no empathy or guilt is a losing situation. What makes it worse is that the person you are chasing believes they have empathy and are sorry for what they do, but they aren’t. It’s their delusion of guilt that is frightening. They have disordered guilt that doesn’t last, nor do they feel the need to correct the behavior long-term.

Chasing someone who doesn’t give a shit is the most heartbreaking experience you’ll ever have. Especially if they are good at portraying they care when they don’t.

So, ask yourself; What am I chasing? And whatever your answer is, turn it around on yourself. What you are pursuing is in YOU, not some abusive asshole that could give a shit about you.