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Detached Retina, Botched Love, And The Mystery of Life
Does anything make sense anymore?
I’m sitting outside my eye doctor. I think I have the same detachment in my other eye now, that I had two months ago.
Life really does seem pointless. Drinking, not drinking, dating, not dating, eating to death, not eating to death, anxiety, no anxiety, think positive, think negative, all of it. It all means nothing.
This Christmas all I could think about was wanting someone here with me who wants nothing to do with me. I wanted her next to me with my hand on her thigh as we laughed, and joked with my family. I was excited for everyone to meet her. I’m proud of who she is, flaws and all. And the thought of having her with me during the holidays, and into the new year excited me, no matter what we were going through.
I wanted to show her my “stomping” grounds in my city. I had many places I couldn’t wait to show her. I wanted to make her breakfast, wanted to sit in the park across from my apartment with coffee and tea, and so much more.
She has a coldness, but such a vulnerable side when she allows it to surface. I love her…
