How a Simple Form of Rejection Changed My Life for The Better

Some of life's most painful lessons are what you need to initiate change

Chris Freyler
3 min readJan 22, 2022


Photo by Steve Johnson from Pexels

I felt rejected for years in my past relationship. I don’t know if it’s rejection or not that I am experiencing. I think I fear rejection and avoid it at all costs.

I now catch myself not putting myself in situations where rejection is possible. Is that healthy? Probably not; I’d say no.

My ex told me once she “figured” it out, she knew why she needed attention from all the men; it was her rejection issues. But the thing was, I never rejected her; I did the exact opposite. I was there for her through thick and thin, and she was the one rejecting me.

Her definition of me rejecting her was me getting upset with her lies and cheating.

Wednesday, January 19th, was my birthday. I haven’t tried contacting her in over seven weeks. I get an email from her. Titled “Birthday” followed by “Happy Birthday” in the content section, that’s it. Just “Happy Birthday.”

I know if I respond, she will reject me because she is just testing to see if I am “still around.” And she would make me wait or tell me she was “just being nice.”

Why just a “happy birthday?’ It’s not like you care about me; you could have at least said something like:

I am so sorry for the last time we were together, and I lied to you. I am sorry I led you on while testing the waters AGAIN with a new guy. Now that it didn’t work, I thought I would “test” the waters with you and see if you respond to me like you always do. You were always there for me, no matter how badly I abused or mistreated you.

I thought I would really manipulate you and act as I care, you know, like I always did, and send it on your birthday to show I didn’t forget. I know I crushed you again with more lies. I know I didn’t wish you a…



Chris Freyler

Mistake Maker Extraordinaire .Writing from a place I don’t understand at times. I write to help myself, in return hope it helps you. Just another Quora guy.