How do You Get Over Someone Who Doesn’t Love You?

They are showing you, but you listen to words, don’t you?

Photo by Josh Hild on Unsplash

Welcome to the story of my life.

There isn’t anyone I have been with, who I’d say loved, and no one who has been with me, that loved me.

That’s a tough pill to swallow once I sit back and break the four relationships down that I’ve had in 49 years.

These last three months have been a huge fucking struggle. I can’t write, can’t sleep, can’t eat right, can’t be less anxious, can’t do much of anything that doesn’t involve some form of self destruction.

I feel completely depleted, I can’t even put into words in writings how I feel anymore, it’s that bad. I used to be able to express myself best in writing, but not no more.

I have no idea if it’s the manipulation from what’s around me that has me all fucked up, or it’s all me. I know it’s “me,” but accountability isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be.

I’ve never had a sense of peace, or love in my life, ever. It’s all been an illusion from those around me. I was either fooling myself, or someone else.

I’m beginning to think I’m more fucked up than can be repaired.