How Hard is it For a Person of Narcissists Abuse to Ask For Help?
It’s very tough, because by the time they realize what is going on they are pretty fucked up. They have put up with months, maybe years of abuse. They aren’t sure what they’re dealing with, or better yet, the whole damn problem might be them, and not the abuser.
They’re in the bargaining stage of grief. Not knowing what is right or wrong. Maybe the Narcissists is right, maybe they are abusive? Maybe they need to just cut the asshole some slack. Maybe if they would just be more trusting everything would start to smooth over, right?
In walks reactive abuse.
Reactive abuse will do some hefty damage to a the person being abused. They will begin to blame themselves and question everything. They will break down every argument looking for something that makes sense. The will go back and forth between the good and bad(cognitive dissonance) of this person because they can’t make sense of anything any longer.
Most never ask for help.
It’s fucking embarrassing what we put up with. We can see it, but “can’t” see it at the same time. The cognitive dissonance runs deep! Cognitive dissonance is a demon you don’t want to play with. It is in fact what creates the trauma bond, but in my opinion does more damage. When you are in a constant state of “flux” trying to justify the bad with the good, you are fucked.
Instead of asking for help they repeat the cycle.
They never heal, or they repeat the same abuse with a more covert type of abuser. Many also self medicate with substances, food, or other relationships. Anything is better than feeling the craziness of yourself, or the emotional hell the narcissists plays on you.
If it was a true Narcissists they dated they have some CPTSD going on, and it won’t get better without treatment, it actually gets worst. I’m experiencing this right now. The more you fight and deny, the more it lashes back and delivers.
The victim ends up being in their own whirl wind of hell. All their past trauma was…