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How Justifying Change Can Lead to A More Covert Form of Escape
The worst form of abuse is gaslighting yourself.
Joe needs to get the fuck out of dodge. He’s tired of his 450 sqft apartment in the city, seeing the same people, eating the same food, and doing the same routine every god damn day. Life has become a never-ending cycle of chasing change but staying stuck in a never-ending string of monotony.
Life is boring without the chaos of the crazy relationship he just left and the beer he no longer drinks. He has more time on his hands than he knows what to do with. He wakes at 3:30 am every morning, and he has accomplished more than most by 8 am. Then he thinks that maybe he will sleep later, but that won’t work, Joe’s a morning person, and he enjoys the silence the early hours bring.
Joe has a hard time being present without letting his mind drift. He’s tired of thinking how things could be worse when they aren’t. That’s the problem with Joe; if he doesn’t create a worst-case scenario, he has trouble remembering it could worsen. I mean, don’t get me wrong, gratitude will show itself in little snippets of Joe’s life, but not often. He loves to live in the past and a little sprinkle of the future, but not much.
Most of the time, Joe is so god damn anxiety-ridden that he can’t think straight…
