How to Survive a Narcissist Break-Up and Keep Your Sanity

Chris Freyler
3 min readOct 28, 2021

I know it seems impossible, but there is a way out

Photo by Li Yang on Unsplash

I’m a firm believer there are only a few ways to make it out of a Narcissistic relationship. It is not your normal break-up. You will want to find an easier way, but there isn’t one. The more time you spend trying to solve a puzzle that can’t be solved will lead you into a darker place.

It won’t be easy. Take it from a guy who has been battling Trauma Bond for the last three years. I am finally putting into action what I have written about the last year. It isn’t easy, but it’s the only way.

Below are ten steps I am taking to free myself from this toxic situation to move on with my life.

  1. No Contact: Only way. If you can’t do no contact because of kids, Gray Rock
  2. Don’t Stalk Them: Don’t look at their social media or talk to their friends and family. I made this mistake many times. I’d chase and chase. Now they are smearing me as the narcissist and the abusive one.
  3. Own Your Reality: Don’t own their reality of what they say or think about you. I know it’s hard. Remember, they project shame, hate, and lies. It can be very confusing. Deep within, we see the truth.
  4. Get a Good Therapist: This is highly recommended. I’ve searched and searched and finally found one that specializes in Cluster B. I finally have hope in breaking a three-year trauma bond.
  5. Workout: If you are already in shape, get more in shape. If you aren’t in condition, become someone you would want to date.
  6. Focus on Yourself: I know it’s hard. You want to keep talking about them and ruminating on the past of what went wrong. It is so important to put emphasis on your life and forget about them. Again, become someone you move and respect, and you will attract the same.
  7. Stop Looking for Closure: You will always be the one at fault in their eyes. They can’t accept the abuse they do to people, so they project it onto everyone else. They may appear sorry, but if they were, they wouldn’t keep repeating abusive behavior.
  8. Eat Healthily: Healthy body will help with a healthy mind.
  9. Stop researching narcissism. I believe this can have a damaging effect long term once you are pretty confident about what you are dealing with. It can keep you stuck and trauma bonded.
  10. Become the Best Fucking Version of YOURSELF! Forget every lie they told you. Forget every person they ran to other than you. Forget that they invalidated any concern of yours. Forget they blamed you for feeling hurt and betrayed. Forget the “idea” of them that never existed. Forget the asshole that could drop you in a second and put anyone else before you. Forget all that and become a boundary-setting badass and start living!

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Chris Freyler

Mistake Maker Extraordinaire .Writing from a place I don’t understand at times. I write to help myself, in return hope it helps you. Just another Quora guy.