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Was it Alcoholism or Narcissism?
The acceptance of not knowing is the answer
I’m by no means a therapist, life coach, or psychologist, but there seems to be a lot of overlap in Addiction and Narcissism. Both are selfish assholes and will rip the souls out of loved ones to get their fix. Truly sick shit.
I missed a phone call from her at 11.40 pm on Thursday because I was asleep. I wake up and do my regular routine. While sitting and warming my car, I noticed I had a missed call from the previous night. It’s her! She didn’t leave a voicemail but left me a message on Whatsapp that said, “she is reaching out.”
See, she never reaches out when she disappears or gets angry with me, and it’s always me running back. I felt like I was making significant progress this time. I was holding the no contact, but still, she was in the back of my mind, and I worried about her. I just finished a session with Meredith Miller of Inner Integration that went well. She confirmed I was on the right path and to keep reading the list of all the horrible things my ex did to me to break the Cognitive Dissonance.
I was able to hold out a couple of hours before I broke the no contact and wrote her and left a message on Whatsapp. Of course, they go unread, more games from her. She causes me to panic, and I react and reach out, scared she may need me or my help. See, she…