Member-only story
Is There Ever a Right Time?
When do you jump and abandon ship into the unknown?
Life hasn’t been kind to me the last two years as I try and navigate my way through the emotions of an abusive relationship. While I like to blame life, I know the real reason, it’s the choices I am making in my life that are the problem, not life itself.
I question everything, and everyone, it can be quite exhausting. The rumination gets the best of me most times, and I look for an escape that will, in a sense, balance me, but always makes things worst.
Trusting people is hard for me.
I know most of my trust issues stem from not trusting myself. I am so sick of the psychological, self help bullshit I could scream, and do quite often. It gets frustrating living in a world where you think the next course, quote, video or therapy session will offer you a sense of peace, but it never does unless you have the right mindset. But where do you find that?
I tell myself I am done writing. I am done with my YouTube Channel. I am done with everything that makes “me” in a sense, but it’s a place I lose myself most often. Writing is a tool I use to express thoughts I can’t put into words, and on the negative side of it, I seek validation and approval from it also. Is that healthy? I have no idea anymore.
