Is Your Fear of Abandonment Keeping You in a Toxic Relationship?
What stories are you telling yourself to stay with this person?
I have a pretty horrific fear of abandonment, but I don’t realize how bad it is until I stay in a place I should have left long ago. What makes it worse is I am a 49 year old male, and it can be down right embarrassing most times.
I make up stories as to why I overstay my welcome. That’s the problem with abandonment issues, you will eventually become the villain if you already aren’t. I tell myself all kinds of things why I stay, and why I need to apologize.
You will stay in abusive situations far too long because you “understand.” You will give the benefit of the doubt far too many times, when in reality that’s your abandonment giving the “chances” not you.
Typically I attract the “love bombing” type, these make me feel most secure, at least in the moment. While it feels almost sadistic how nice they are to me, I can’t ignore the fact that I need their poison. It deadens the inner voices that “I’m not enough” just long enough to give me hope that someone won’t leave.
You will put up with far too much, until you finally snap out of frustration, confusion and pain. You are bending over backward for this person and they don’t see…
