Member-only story
Mama Didn’t Raise No Simp
I didn’t mean to upset you….again.
You were careful this time. You read over your message, correcting it, in hopes of not upsetting them, yet again. It’s been a rocky go at it, but you are trying to do better. I mean, you have finally got some real time under your belt with sobriety. While you are doing better in that aspect, they are still struggling.
With a clearer mind, you are trying to get a better understanding of where the “relationship” stands, or if it even stands at all. All the mixed signals you get from them does nothing but confuse you more. You lay awake many nights yearning to be heard, wishing your feelings didn’t upset the person who once said they loved you. Oh how you miss the words their actions rarely back up. But some where in your 50 years of existence you were fine with words, words mean everything, fuck actions.
In all honesty, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing any more. It’s like my life is an open mine field waiting for the next explosion. And with each step, I might lose a limb, but I never step on the grand daddy of them all, that would finally take me out. I limp through the mine field mumbling to myself, trying to rationalize what feelings are valid, and which ones aren’t.
With each feeling I believe to be valid, I once again step on a mine and lose another limb. I’m…
