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Mirrors of Misery
When the reflection is so painful, you run
I feel the wind on my ears as I rush to her. She’s in despair once again. Questioning life and herself, but is she? Did I fall for it yet again? I read my list, I go over everything I have learned over the years but can’t fight the guilt and worry. What if she does need me this time? What if she is serious about change?
Is she testing me to see what lengths I’ll go to to save her? I don’t know, but she has done it before.
Wake the fuck up, Chris! It’s happening again! You know how this ends, and it’s never well. I once again allow my thoughts to terrorize me. For some reason, I feel I am somewhat responsible for her unhappiness, although I had no part in creating her sadness and where she is in life.
I know I have run to her many times before to fix her, but it falls on deaf ears and rips just another piece from my soul. I fantasize about her being vulnerable, accepting her faults, and taking action to work on herself. I begin to fall into my world of delusion, where we agree to get individual therapy and work on what I believed we once had. An unbreakable bond that felt as if I met my long, lost soul. An actual female version of myself, struggles and all.
Misery loves company, and we are two broken humans brought together to celebrate in the dysfunctional festivities…
