One Important Form of Intelligence Most Never Consider

In reality, it’s one no one thinks about.

Chris Freyler
2 min readAug 16, 2022


Photo by Tamara Gak on Unsplash

I think the highest form of intelligence has nothing to do with book smarts or brain power. The highest form of intelligence is the ability to respond vs. react.

I’m fucking horrible at this. I was raised in a family where reactions and anger were the norms. It was a horrible environment to be born into.

I have hurt people in my past with my reactions. I am working my ass off to hold off on any reaction based on pure feelings alone.

I’ve failed miserably for years at it, but after taking a brutal inventory of my last relationship, I saw many of my flaws and stopped focusing on hers. Well, let’s say I’m working on it.

My reactions were the truth, but they were vicious. You know you were wrong when guilt follows almost immediately after the reaction. It’s a fucking horrible feeling.

I practiced it today. I didn’t react or blow up when I spoke with her. I was running on pure feelings, and acting on feelings always leads to disaster, for me at least.

It was a whole new conversation. I am working on sitting with responses to people that trigger my reactions. It could be 1 to 24 hours, depending on the topic that triggered me.

I don’t know about you, but owning your shit and accepting you are flawed in some “intelligent” shit.

At least that’s what I tell myself. Doing so keeps me on the proper path to not hurt the ones I love.

It’d be nice if I were perfect, but I’m not, and I’m Ok with it.



Chris Freyler

Mistake Maker Extraordinaire .Writing from a place I don’t understand at times. I write to help myself, in return hope it helps you. Just another Quora guy.