One of The Hallmarks of Narcissistic Abuse is Betrayal; Are You addicted to it?

We subconsciously adapt to many dysfunctional comforts we are not aware of, but stay because it feels familiar.

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It’s not a secret; I struggle with a 4.5-year relationship with someone who exhibits many signs of Covert Narcissism. She was never diagnosed, but all the symptoms were there.

I was laying in bed last night and thinking, outside of the trauma bond, what is it I am addicted to about being abused? Yes, I have some childhood trauma, but what makes me chase down someone who has lied, manipulated, and cheated on me more times than I can count.

Have you heard the old saying, “An ace up your sleeve?” Well, she took it to a new level; there was always a “lie up her sleeve,” and she kept me guessing all the time. By the end, I believed nothing that came out of her mouth, and rightly so.

While lying in bed, I began to think, who was it in my life that betrayed and deceived me? What happened to me to make me want to chase a person down who was mean as fuck to me?

She lied about being married, punched me in the nuts, had a fling with my best friend, and chose me last many times. Then, after I’d react, I’d beg for her forgiveness or reward…