Member-only story
“Responding vs. Reacting” is The Highest Form of Intelligence Possible
Many wouldn’t consider it “intelligent,” but let me explain.
The highest form of intelligence has nothing to do with book smarts or brain power. Instead, the highest form of intelligence is the ability to respond vs. react. You will get a quick “101” on this type of reaction if you’ve ever dated a manipulative person, or Narcissists.
I’m not sure I was ever the “responsive” type, but I know after this last relationship I am a walking “reaction” machine. I was raised in a family where reactions and anger were the norms.
It was an awful environment to be born into. Most the time we were walking on egg shells in fear of upsetting someone. Any for of emotions were usually met with resistance. That, or it would go from one extreme to the other. There was never a “balance.”
I have hurt people in the past with my reactions. So I am working my ass off to hold off on any reaction that is based on pure feelings alone.
I’ve failed miserably for years at it, but after taking a brutal inventory of my last relationship, I saw many of my flaws and stopped focusing on hers.