Chris Freyler
2 min readAug 3, 2021

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Ten Rules I Recommend To Survive A Narcissistic Break-Up.

There is no quick fix, but there are tools to implement to make the transition easier.

Photo by Patrick Ho on Unsplash

I’m fairly certain I’ve dated two Narcissistic women, or at least two with strong Narcissistic traits. If you are unfortunate enough to experience this type of relationship, you are in for a long road ahead. But follow the recommendations below and it can ease the suffering for a quicker recovery

1. No contact: Only way. If you can’t do no contact completely because of kids, Gray Rock.

2. Don’t stalk them: Don’t look at their social media or talk to their friends and family. I made this mistake many times. I’d chase and chase. Now they are smearing me as the narcissist and the abusive one.

3. Own your reality: Don’t own their reality of what they say or think about you. I know it’s hard. Remember they project shame, hate, and lies. It can be very confusing. Deep within we know the truth.

4. Get a good therapist: This is highly recommended. I’ve searched and searched and finally found one that specializes in Cluster B. I finally have hope in breaking a 3-year trauma bond.

5. Work out: If you are already in shape, get more in shape. If you aren’t in shape, become someone you would want to date.

6. Focus on yourself: I know it’s hard. You want to keep talking about them and ruminating in the past of what went wrong. It is so important to put emphasis on your life and forget about them. Again, become someone you love, and respect and you will attract the same.

7. Stop looking for closure: You will always be the one at fault in their eyes. They can’t accept the abuse they do to people, so they project it on to everyone else. They may appear sorry, but if they were they wouldn’t keep repeating abusive behavior.

8. Eat healthy: Healthy body will help with a healthy mind.

9. Stop researching Narcissism. I believe this can have a damaging effect long term once you are certain what you are dealing with. Excessive long-term research can keep you stuck, and trauma bonded. I know, I’ve researched it the better part of 5-years. It is exhausting.

10. Become the best version of YOURSELF! Forget every lie they told you. Forget every person they ran to other than you. Forget they invalidated any concern or feeling of yours. Forget they blamed you for feeling hurt and betrayed. Forget the “idea” of them that never existed. Forget the asshole that could drop you in a second and put anyone else before you. Forget all that and become a boundary setting bad ass and start living!

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Chris Freyler

Mistake Maker Extraordinaire .Writing from a place I don’t understand at times. I write to help myself, in return hope it helps you. Just another Quora guy.