Member-only story
The Confusion in, “The Land of Long White Clouds.”
Is it confusion, or that of “attachment” styles?
As I sit here staring out my window with light flurries swirling through the air, I overthink more, and more. I slightly adjust myself in my office chair and get that ole too familiar pain in my back.
My eye is still blurry if I look a certain way, and I just read an article on relationships that made me see just how complicated they really are.
There isn’t an hour that goes by that I’m not fighting the urge to reach out, or look at the clock to do a quick calculation on what time it is in “The Land of Long White Clouds.” As I wonder how you are doing.
I try and talk myself into remembering all the bad shit we threw at one another, but those thoughts are quickly trumped by the good we shared. It’s hard at times to remember any good due to how bad it got after I returned from visiting you. I beat my head against the wall wondering where it went wrong after a short 6–7 day trip where we felt we knew one another since childhood.
I was at my sisters last night for Thanksgiving. And everyone asked about you. Asked if you were still coming Christmas. It’s just not how I wanted to believe this would be. You are my buddy.
