You just caught them lying again, well, you “think” you did. But wait! They are actually telling the truth this time. I mean, what the fuck?! Is it possible they are changing? Is it possible they really do love you and there might be a chance to salvage this relationship?
Not so fast
When the Narcissists tells the truth it is a form of subliminal gaslighting. When they tell the truth it does nothing but strengthen the trauma bond with an already healthy dose of cognitive dissonance.
A narcissists doesn’t always lie, but this is where it gets tricky. This is where they will use the truth against you to completely mind fuck you.
I had it happen to me many times. The times I was sure she was lying, she wasn’t, and the times I gave her the benefit of the doubt, she was. It keeps the victim in a constant state of limbo of not knowing what to believe, but better yet, keeps you second guessing yourself.
When the Narcissists tells the truth they will make it be known they do.
“See, I told you I am trying! Why don’t you ever believe me!?!”
“I am so sick of you. You are so controlling and insecure!”
These are just some of the comments you may get from them to make you doubt yourself even more. It truly is crazy making.
Their truth is used as a weapon
I’m not sure if they are honestly trying to change, or if they are just doing what they think they should do. You know? Tell the truth. I think it’s the latter. It’s all a form of manipulation whether they see it or not.
I actually think it’s the worst thing that can happen is for them to tell the truth. What will happen is you try and defend why you don’t believe them, then they will gaslight you. Then out of the gaslighting will come your reaction to their manipulation, which is better known as reactive abuse.
It’s here in your reaction they will flip that against you also. So while they were telling the truth, here you are acting like a lunatic defending yourself why you didn’t believe them in the beginning. Then they flip it all on…