Today I Didn’t Drink, And I’m Proud of Myself

The process of reinventing yourself, later in life, is a road less traveled by many.

Photo by Hayley Murray on Unsplash

I had two benders last week that were horribly rough. I am still feeling the torment within my body, and the consequences of the words I speak when I am out of my mind. By bender, I mean alcohol.

My drinking career started back at the age of 21ish. When it first hit my lips it was the relief I didn’t know I was looking for. But by the end, it’s the relief I still crave, but in that craving it doesn’t work. My drinking consist of hard, and fast. The faster I can drink, the quicker I can blackout and forget.

I never intended to end up where I am at today

I never intended to be divorced, until I was. Then I thought my ex-wife was the only one with the drinking problem, and if I left her everything would change. Little did I know the moment I left her it would set me on a path of a horrific hell I never believed imaginable.

I know how to pick them, let me tell you. The more toxic they are the more I tried to keep them in my life. Of course, the three girls after my divorce all involved alcohol. And one of the three was aware she had a problem, we both were aware of our problems, but alcohol helped…