We Live in a Society Where People are Desperate For Answers

The self-help industry has most chasing a pipe dream in the wrong direction.

Chris Freyler
3 min readJun 4


Photo by Pawel Janiak on Unsplash

This is the million-dollar question. Everyone talks about it and says they are doing it but aren’t.

There is no quick, easy way to tackle this challenging task. It’s hard as hell. I mean, look around. Everyone is escaping in some way. Either through a shitty relationship, a super-sized meal #8, or the bottom of a wine bottle.

In my opinion, self-love is an anomaly.

Everyone wants it but doesn’t know how to go about getting it. So they either say they have it or preach to others they need to start doing it.

For me, it’s been a struggle. I never knew what it even meant.

I’m slowly learning when you start the journey, you will lose people in your life you thought you couldn’t live without. And the longer you are away from that person, you will question how you lived with them, to begin with.

I’m about as far from anyone qualified to write an answer on self-love but fuck it; we have to start somewhere. Right?

Here are some things I do, yea, some are weird, I know, but it’s hard to try and take care of myself.

  • I have found myself apologizing to myself a lot. It sounds weird, I know. But I have been so mean to fucking “Chris” it’s not even funny. I will pat my shoulder, telling myself I’m gonna take better care of myself and watch who I allow in my life. It’s like a weird Pep talk. I spent years apologizing to a very abusive person; it’s time to reverse roles.
  • I have boundaries, kinda. It’s hard. I am working on saying no when I mean no and yes when I mean yes.
  • I’m selective about who I “let in.” I am no longer feeling sorry for people who don’t deserve it. And I no longer take complete strangers “under my wing.” That doesn’t mean I can’t wish them the best, or answer a few questions. I’m learning that wasted energy can be used elsewhere. Most people just want to complain and take no action.
  • My diet. It’s been a long time since I’ve really worked on my diet. I’m putting good foods in my body. I am…



Chris Freyler

Mistake Maker Extraordinaire .Writing from a place I don’t understand at times. I write to help myself, in return hope it helps you. Just another Quora guy.