What are Narcissist obsessed with?

This won’t be a popular opinion most likely, but I feel it needs to be said.

I’m not sure what a narcissist is obsessed with, I know what I’m obsessed with. Want to know?

1. What was is it? I mean, was it narcissistic abuse? Were they a narcissist? Dunno. Was she manipulative? Yep. Did she tell a never ending string of lies? Yep. Did she cheat on me? Yep. Multiple times. Did my feelings matter? Nope. Did I feel like a convenience and object at times? Yep. I know it wouldn’t matter what opinion I got from 3 different therapist, it was never enough.

2. Revenge: You’re pissed right? How could someone treat you so poorly!? You want them to pay for every hurtful thing they did to you, right!? So, we played no part in it? We are just the innocent victim? My opinion is, after the first time something abusive happened and if I voluntarily stayed, that’s my fault. I was a willing participant after the first time.

3. Research: Trust me I know. I’ve been researching this shit for the the better part of 5 years. It has become a sick obsession. I dream about this shit, eat this shit, sleep this shit, talk to many about it over and over and over again. For what? I’ll tell you why, because I won’t face my fears and pains head on. So I stay stuck. I obsess about something I can’t control, while ignoring the very thing I can…