What Happens When a Narcissist Sees You Cheating?

You play right into their victim role, they love it

Chris Freyler
3 min readDec 9, 2021


Photo by Alexandra Tran on Unsplash

If you’re cheating and you know they are narcissistic, like diagnosed Narcissism, you best get yourself checked for it.

There’s never a reason to cheat on someone. If you can cheat and you’re with a Narcissist, you have the power to leave them simultaneously. Or maybe they aren’t a Narcissist and are just an asshole?

I’ll never understand “I cheated because.” Just fucking break up already, then go fuck who you want. Narcissist or not, nothing justifies betrayal like that, NOTHING. You damage more than you know. If you are a decent human with morals, it should hurt you more than the betrayed if you decide to cheat.

If you say you can’t leave, that’s bullshit too. Where there’s a will, there’s away. Yea, it will feel like hell, but then you sit with yourself and don’t go around hurting other people when you know you have unhealed stuff you are dealing with. It’s what my ex does; it’s upsetting. I know she knows she messed up, but she hops person to person without a care in the world. Leaving a trail of lies and deceit. That’s her, and she isn’t changing.

I put up with the most horrific forms of cheating and blatant lies. I can still have a “physical” reaction in my body if I think about it too much. It’s horrible.

I tried to date and have relationships outside my toxic one when she would take off and block me. I couldn’t do it. It didn’t feel right because I still loved her. You won’t find healthy jumping immediately from toxicity; that’s a FACT. But people do it daily.

I loved her. And I definitely couldn’t have cheated on her. It’s sick, I know.
Just because you date an abuser doesn’t make it right to abuse back. That makes “us” no better than “them.” I know.

I’ve laid some tongue-lashing verbal assaults on her. Did she deserve them? Possibly. Did it make me feel any better? At the moment, yea, it was gratifying. My CPTSD was in full force, true cut-throat shit. She hurt me, I wanted to hurt her, but in reality, I didn’t. I was reacting and not responding.



Chris Freyler

Mistake Maker Extraordinaire .Writing from a place I don’t understand at times. I write to help myself, in return hope it helps you. Just another Quora guy.