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What I Learned From Each Relapse on my Journey to Quit Drinking
Each relapse will have a similar lesson you ignored.
That the consequences are always worse than the lesson. And the lesson isn’t what teaches you, it’s the consequences that do all the work.
Guilt, shame and regret is the merry-go-round of hell for all addicts. It gets to the point you are living in full blown addiction to escape any form of accountability the consequences throw at you. Under every addicts “escape” is trauma, period. It’s far more than just “quitting.” Quitting is the easy part. It’s what you do with yourself after you quit is where the treasure is buried.
What I learned is there are some who can’t quit. Their mind and thoughts won’t let them. Doesn’t have to be a substance, could be food, money, porn, relationships, sex, etc. Some never get to the point of utter despair and pain. Being forced into change rarely works, it can get the ball rolling but at some point your want and desire to change has to take the steering wheel.
The more pain, the more they use, the more they use, the more they disassociate, the more they disassociate the more they isolate, and eventually death. The lucky ones die young, the real miserable bastards live well into their 70–80’s.
