What is The Most Difficult Aspect of Success With Online Dating?

Going in with low expectations is a good starting point.

Chris Freyler
3 min readAug 4, 2022


Photo by sept commercial on Unsplash

I wouldn’t say just online but overall dating after you’ve experienced a manipulative relationship. It changes you.

The thought of dating is no longer exciting. It takes a long time to get to know someone and longer for them to earn your trust. You are constantly alert, looking for discrepancies in the person’s story.

Once the “honeymoon” period fades, you are generally left with two ordinary people with plenty of baggage. So many are quick to jump in the sack and play house when they don’t even know one another. They are running on lust and not love.

Many out in the dating world have agendas that aren’t aware they have them and go around hurting people. That and those looking for a piece to the puzzle in their life to bring them happiness. When many base this one relationship as the deciding factor to happiness in their life, it’s a recipe for disaster.

The online dating world is a breeding ground for manipulators and abusers. I’m sure there are good people online, but after you’ve been “burnt” a time or two and had your heart ripped out, the dating pool significantly decreases. What better place than online to search out victims that give you a blueprint to what they are looking for in a partner, all before you even meet the person?

Many are afraid to date after being duped. I believe there are still good people out there, but many aren’t actively seeking a relationship. So many try and force a relationship that shouldn’t have gotten past the first month, let alone the first year. Then there are those aware of what is going on. They know finding the perfect person is impossible, but it’s also tough to find someone on a similar path as you.

They live more in the mentality;

When it happens, it will happen, and if it doesn’t, I am Ok with it.

That’s kinda where I’m at. Even at 47, I need to have patience and focus on myself, even if my focus is a slow crawl with many stumbles. I can’t seem to get out of my own way most the time.

Sometimes I think life would be better with someone to share shit with. But it can make things worse when you choose the wrong one. I know; I’ve done that twice. The lesson I learned from my ex-wife of 17 years was child’s play compared to my last ex. She put me on the path to insanity and awareness, all wrapped into one.

I don’t think my “person” is on a dating app. But what do I know? They might be, I’m not sure. If I go that route, I will give an update.

Happy Dating.



Chris Freyler

Mistake Maker Extraordinaire .Writing from a place I don’t understand at times. I write to help myself, in return hope it helps you. Just another Quora guy.

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