What it Feels Like to See The One You Love With Someone Else
It hurt like a mother fucker because I wasn’t aware of just how much I loved her until that day.
My feelings went from love to hate, to anger, to guilt, back to love then settled on confusion and rejection.
I pulled up and saw another guy walking out of her house. Yea, I’m codependent, but she told me things no one ever has and made me feel good about myself for once in my life. And I fucking believed the bitch.
That was my first mistake.
My body went numb, no shit. Then I began breathing heavily, and it was the most gawd awful empty feeling of desperation that can’t be described.
I’m unsure if that feeling is typical or if it’s just another fucked Up, exaggerated emotion from another codependent like myself.
It feels hopeless as well as helpless. Because she chose someone else that day, and there was nothing I could do about it. No amount of pathetic begging would change it.
I treated her as well as a guy could, but I realized it mattered at that moment — nothing I could have said to change her mind or done, for that matter.
