What Kind of Relationship do You Want?

We all have an idea of what we want, but do you have it?

Chris Freyler


Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

I want one most people don’t have but think they do. I’m over the superficial bullshit of relationships. It will keep you stuck in a miserable comfort you aren’t aware you are in.

In my last relationship, I based everything around vacations, laughing, dinners, sex, etc. While those are all qualities in “healthy” relationships, they shouldn’t be the main focus.

Those who are trauma-bonded base the whole relationship on superficiality but ignore the fundamentals of the abuse going on.

Gaslighting, no communication, cheating, lying, manipulation, etc, are all overlooked because we had “traveled” or camped somewhere.

A relationship is far more than the “fun” times.

How does your partner treat you outside what most use to “escape” the miserable comfort? Are they respectful? Are they honest? Do they want the best for you? Will they support you in times you feel broken? Are they willing to discuss complex topics and not blame? Are they open for growth?

There is so much that goes into a relationship.

I don’t want a perfect relationship. I want a relationship with someone who isn’t looking for a savior but is looking for someone to tackle life challenges with.

If you get two people who actually understand one another’s struggles and support one another, that’s a form of connection most never experience.

Separating individual issues from “relationship” issues isn’t easy.

Relationships aren’t easy.

I finally realize I control very little, and another person isn’t one of them.

Accepting each other as you are when you get into the relationship is critical. If this person never changed from who they are right “now,” are you OK with that?

If the answer is yes, then that’s the type of relationship I want.

Free from abuse and a shit ton of acceptance while we weather the storm together.

Unfortunately, my boat has some damage I’m trying to fix.



Chris Freyler

Mistake Maker Extraordinaire .Writing from a place I don’t understand at times. I write to help myself, in return hope it helps you. Just another Quora guy.