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What Lie is Making Your Life Manageable?
Those who say they never lie to themselves are the ones who do it the most.
It took me a long fucking time to realize the lie I was living that seems almost impossible to change.
While most say they don’t lie, they are just making sure their story sounds plausible is all. They know they’re bullshitting themselves.
“Subconsciously” they try their damndest to make it believable to the outsider looking in. And most are quite successful, because everyone else is auditioning for the same role.
I had no idea the lies I was telling, nor living, until I did. And it makes me cringe. Hence, while I drown it all away with food and alcohol at times. others will just “double down” on their lies until they force themselves to believe it.
I still question reality, because sometimes reality isn’t something I’m okay with. I know too much now.
Life isn’t about being “Okay,” I won’t lie about that. I haven’t been Okay in a LONG time.
I often tell myself everything will be “okay,” and yet, I know most times it’s not, it’s horrific actually. But at least it sounds good, and keeps this fake narrative running in my mind that there everything is.
