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What Moment Completely Changed How You Saw Someone?
60 Days ago I quit drinking, and 60 days ago I lost myself.
60 days ago I quit drinking. 60 days ago life was about to change, I knew it, but avoided it for the last 13 years. That was the last time I was sober for any extended period of time. I had 9 months.
March 17th, of 2012 I decided to buy a 6 pack to relax, well, that “relax” lasted 13 years. And it was anything but relaxing.
How I see myself now, and how I saw myself 60 days ago has drastically changed. When I drank at least I could act like I liked who I was, and how I lived. But without the delusion in a bottle I’m faced with the stark reality of the mess I created.
I don’t like myself, and not one bit really
Alcohol masked so much of who I was, and wasn’t, at the same time. Multiple times a week I get angry with myself that I can’t just “escape” one more time, and I can, but I won’t.
Everything in life is less exciting, and interesting without the drink, including myself.
I ignored so much over the last 50 years it really pisses me off. I’m frustrated, angry, confused, lonely, lost and the whole nine yards. And the most frustrating shit of all is I know the one thing that will…
