Member-only story
When Self Awareness Becomes Your New Obsession
It’s exactly why most avoid it, or just say they have it but don’t.
Life, my thoughts, not drinking, drinking, not eating, eating, money, home life, work, traffic, people, family, you name it, its hit the fucking breaking point.
For the life of me, I can’t be content. Then I find myself obsessively evaluating everyone close, or semi close to me to see if what I feel is kinda the “norm” or am I just bat shit nuts?
I overthink, and over evaluate EVERYTHING.
I’m trying to think what life was like before I dated whom I’m sure was a Narcissists. She entered my life almost 8 years ago. I mean, did she really fuck me up this bad? Or did she rough me up just enough to bring the fucked up within that was lying dormant for years?
And the only reason she was called upon was to give me a major shake up, with an attempt to take me down in a sense?
I can’t make sense of anything any more.
The people I allow to get close to me cause me more confusion. I’m constantly on the hunt for approval, validation and escape on my quest to be content. Something I have NEVER been, unless I’m nursing a serious hangover, food coma, or chasing some relationship down I have no business being in.
