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When Was The Moment You Realized You Weren’t Living Your Best Life?
I woke up hungover yet again, laying next to someone I despised but craved.
She showed me time and time again that I was nothing but a number to her, but I wouldn’t believe her.
My days consisted of anxiety-filled episodes of constant rumination about who she was talking to and what she was doing. I was conditioned to be on high alert and keep trying to prove my worth to someone who wasn’t worthy. Not only that, trying to prove something I didn’t have.
I’d spend my days on an emotional roller coaster talking myself into thinking everything was Ok. I was in the most extensive form of denial known to mankind, not only about her but with me, who I was.
Not who I was becoming, but who I had become.
Living your best life isn’t about abusing yourself daily and bringing others to the party to pile on.
Heh, I can’t blame her. I showed her day in and day out what I thought about myself. Why wouldn’t she test the waters? It’s what she does, and it’s what I do.
The transformation from the worst life to trying to live your best isn’t an easy road. It comes with many detours, U-turns, and wrong ways; it’s all part of the process. It’s a god…
