You Broke Trauma Bond, Now What?
You won’t want to hear this, but it gets worse.
Every narcissist’s abuse survivor prays for the day the dreaded Trauma Bond breaks. They cling to the hope they can get some form of semblance to what life was like before the abuse.
But it doesn’t always go that way
If you’ve spent months, maybe years, in the relationship, breaking the bond can be a frightening experience; at least for me, it was. What I thought I knew, I didn’t know, but what I didn’t know, I knew. I know it sounds confusing.
The hardest part for me was the obsession was over. My days were no longer consumed with toxic thoughts of romanticizing the abuse I confused as love. I began to see her for who she really was and me, for who I was not. My whole world revolved around this one person.
My thoughts would terrorize me as I replayed all the men she was with while I sat alone waiting “my turn” again. It was a pathetic existence I became accustomed to and labeled it as love. I didn’t love her; I loved the potential of what would never come. I lived in a form of dysfunctional hope that existed, but not in the way most think.
