You Can Learn A Lot From an Addict
Yea, that person you see tweaking in Kingston, or Skid Row, they have a story. Some escape and create a new story, but unfortunately most stay in the same story on repeat.
All addicts have a story
Their story usually involves a childhood many wouldn’t survive, but they survive it through using. Using is their only sense of peace in a world they think exist, but doesn’t. Addicts don’t choose addictions, the addiction chooses the addict in my opinion.
No one wakes up one morning and says they want to be a junkie, or alcoholic. It’s how they cope with the horrific shit they went through and seen at a very young age. Everyone has trauma, and we all deal with it differently. But just because you deal one way and an addict deals another doesn’t make you “different” or “better” than them.
I recently met a girl where my judgment took over. She has lived a life many watch about in horror movies but never experience. She has a drive an calming nature to her most “normies” don’t have.
She has no idea I am writing this, she’s not even on Medium. But we both are battling shit. And while she thinks I am helping her, she has no idea how much she is helping me. Her trauma has become my teacher. I am getting a deeper look at myself I didn’t know was there. And the more I push her away, the more she pushes back.
It’s in my nature to run from what is good for me, while I chase the fire
It’s like she can read a trauma mind with little effort, but does it so eloquently and calms me. It’s sort of like trying to explain something you have never experienced. Like Narcissists abuse, but in a good way.
The kicker? Narcissists abuse is what brought her into my life. My writings touched a part of her that put her on a path free from addiction while knowing something better is out there.
I’m so far from perfect and fucked up I still don’t see what people find helpful in my writings. But I see what I find helpful in others.
Your best teacher are those that dealt with fire. They don’t sit in it, they walk through it. While they come out with scars it still doesn’t hide the beauty within.
I hope she keeps teaching me, because I have a lot to learn.
If you ever read this I appreciate you more than you know.