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You Needed That Last Relapse Moron
10 days in and you felt more anxiety than ever.
You were white knuckling it through each day. Your days were consumed with shit you despised, but did, in the sake of being sober.
Sober people have a better life than you, don’t you know that? Once you get sober everything gets better. All your past fuck ups and distorted thoughts leave your soul, just as your substance of choice has. Life is easier not escaping, but is it?
Don’t fall for the propaganda bullshit. Life is so much more tolerable when your are fucked up, being a fuck up. Who wants to face life and past traumas with a clear mind? I sure as fuck don’t. What fun is that?
I love living in the potential of what I will never be while relying on a hope that doesn’t exist.
Travel they say! It cleanses the soul! Experience different cultures and other walks of life. Get out of your own mind, learn something, learn anything! But most importantly, unlearn what you know what is keeping you stuck.
You’re tired I know. There is no longer that sense of elation when you take another stab at sobriety. You know before to long you will be right back at being the fuck up you were born to be. The initial high of sobriety is no longer appealing to you. It’s all a facade that quickly…
